There is a strong and well-known connection between fellowship and conflict, between love and conflict.
If you cruise around YouTube listening to sermons, we can hear some dreadful and harmful-to-Christ teachings being taught in churches. Teachings which also conflict with one another.
A good deal of false teaching which are mixed in with some of the most wonderful and glorious teachings. Teachings which are changing lives and are undoing wickedness in communities all over the earth.
I believe a big reason this mixture goes on unchallenged is that we are not really in fellowship with one another. We are segregated based on pet-peeve doctrines. Most church leaders are isolated and are trained to be so in seminary. Or trained to be so by the former generation’s on the job training. Trained to hide behind their small collections of truth. We tend to major on what we are convinced is true then use that truth to judge and beat up on our brothers and sisters who emphasize something else. Seminarians who surround themselves with their personal amen corner of buddies. Corners which are just big enough to eek out a salary, yet small enough to not have to deal with much of any real conflict.
Limited and inadequate knowledge of Jesus Christ is the massive price that we pay for this segregation.
When some day we want to be biblical, then together we will know the mind of Christ. One man teaching alone every week needs to, at very minimum, be in fellowship with others doing the same. And the congregations need to be mixed up, the Baptists with the Pentecostals, the Lutherans with the independent charismatics.
Not too long ago I heard and older pastor say “a lot of people don’t like my son”, who had recently taken over as the pastor of his church and then said, “if you don’t like him go listen to someone else”
This attitude of agree, keep silent or or get out is one of the most divisive ways of thinking that can exist in the church today. It spreads and has filled the political culture of our nation in cancel culture. It is evil, it thinks it must dominate others who disagree and it is an attitude of short sighted group-think and abandonment.
Some day I predict that the Baptists will routinely be arguing and fellowshipping with the independent Pentecostals, who will be arguing and fellowshipping with the Lutherans, and the Catholics, and the Wesleyans, and every other flavor. And we will know how to do it without hating and abandoning one another or driving one another.
Then I predict we will sell our fancy religious buildings and do great works of God with our money instead.
The sin of isolation and denominationalism causes us to teach poorly and remain in the dark regarding knowledge of much of Christ.
Can We Embrace Conflict to improve Fellowship?
I believe we can greatly enhance our fellowship by specifically embracing fellowship. But we must be taught how to approach conflict and how to react to conflict.
The chief motive needs to be the pursuit of truth. All conflict must be tolerated if and under the condition that we want to come to know the truth. Attitudes of I must be right or I don’t want to be wrong must be banished out loud and repeatedly. Also, accusatory attitudes which seek to shame someone must not be tolerated. Resentment also results from accusations which cause someone accused to behave defensively. Then the conflict becomes fight back from the attack mentality. And the pursuit of truth gets lost to the battle.
But if conflict is encouranged and taught from leaders. Then the groundwork is set.
Another things that must be taught is how to react when people defeat you in conflict. Some people are good debaters, other people are lousy debaters. That often has little on whether they are correct or not. Mistaken people can sometimes out-debate people with great wisdom and knowledge. But they should not always win the conflict, this is very important. And this is where other people must step in and help guide the conflict.
I have won debates before that I later reflected I was totally wrong. And vice versa I’ve given up on a conflict because the person got so hostile I cared more about the friendship than I did on winning the debate.
If you are leading Christian teams in conflict I suggest openly and often teaching the following.
- Conflict is good and we should do it more.
- Losing conflict is normal and ok.
- It is ok if people are wrong or mistaken, we do not accuse one another of evil if we believe they are wrong.
- Conflict is a powerful tool to come to the knowledge of truth, in a ecclesia/ church setting it is intended for the purpose of knowing Jesus Christ.
- Conflict is also useful in rooting out deception and strongholds which hold us all back.
- Knowing Jesus Christ in a variety of ways is the most important thing a Christian community set out to do.
- Strong debaters are required to periodically stand down when they are dominating others.
- Weak debaters are required to periodically stand their ground when they believe they have a strong point but are not communicating it well.
- After every conflict both parties are required to thank the other for a good debate and remind one another of knowing Jesus Christ is the chief aim.
What do you think about conflict, comment below!
Here is a great teaching on YouTube by Patrick Lencioni on conflict
