When I look at my kids I wonder how they look at me, I remember as a young child looking at my parents as almost surreal ideals.
I wonder am I setting a good example, should I show open humility or quiet strength. Should we err on the side of strictness or on the side of leniency. Is church attendance more critical or is family talks?
Should I focus on being better as a parent or just a better version of me? Do I care too much or too little.
Parenting is exciting and a little scary at the same time.
What I do know I have learned by example, from family, from pastors and from other good parents.
I certainly don’t know everything, I know several men who seem to parent better than I but I have learned a few things about being a dad for 11 years and having 5 kids. I believe that every dad has four critical responsibilities in leading their family.
- Be there for them every step of the way – your kids and wife need you throughout their lives, every step, every stage and every struggle. Nothing can substitute for your time, your family needs your time.
- Make sure the kids know that they can come talk to dad about anything! Speak up, be involved, let your love and your presence be felt and known.
- Treat mom great, no matter what, even if you feel she doesn’t deserve it, kids don’t understand the fights and the squabbles of marriage, if there is fighting all they remember is the negative so be the man, die to your self. Die to the right of being right, die to your right to being respected and treat her wonderfully, consider it a ministry to her and the kids, it’s not a weakness to die to self so lay down your life for your wife. This one can be very, very difficult, study more about this in the book of Ephesians and watch other men who have mastered this.
- Give the family a vision and goals, give them short-term goals to strive for, try to get mom on board with these, kids like this. Even if its something as simple as saving up for a family vacation.
Families need dads, dads can learn how to take their role seriously and do better.
What other things can dads do to lead their family well?
