Of all people on planet earth Christians should be able to handle conflict.
I’ve seen otherwise honest Christian people begin to lie and make untrue accusations just to win an argument. Just to avoid and try to quickly end some uncomfortable conflict.
I’ve felt physical pain when facing conflict with people I love, the stress or anger that my body had over the conflict manifested itself physically.
However, despite this uncomfortable reality about myself, conflict and disagreement is normal and necessary in the kingdom of Jesus. It is healthy and is a sign of maturity. My 16 year old can handle conflict better than my 8 year old who can handle it better than my 4 year old.
We CAN learn to do conflict well and not negatively over react to it. Unity and love lies behind a great deal of conflict and trouble. Jesus engaged in conflict often with both his opponents and his followers.
The early churches had constant conflict, the priceless WORLD OVERTURNING epistles were written to help them get through it. How valuable are these conflict resolution letters from mature Christians.
Any church or family that is not able or willing to handle conflict well can quickly become a lonely Jesus-less place. If leaders feel the need to drive out disagree-ers they may be found to be leading a group yo where Jesus himself is just not welcome.
Often Jesus approaches us through our disagreeable brothers and sisters. Listen to them, engage, don’t drive them away and hate them from afar, don’t gossip about them, assuming they are being immature, hear them out in great detail. Have in yourself the attitude of coming to the truth and ask your opponent to do likewise. So you can come to truth together with humility.
Then grind it out, do the awkward work of conflict with an honest heart. Then on the other side of that, watch Jesus bring in real love and unity.
Church leaders who refuse to face this reality are not really even leading, they are occupying a slot. Perhaps just collecting a salary or occupying a place of dominance that they should not be occupying over people. And the prohibition on conflict keeps them there.
Isolating and/or driving out people who disagree with the leaders is often itself disunity. Because it implies they are Lord of the Christian group. And that is an open affront to Jesus himself, within any group that calls itself a church.
