Rants on fb, about fb or about abortion or about democrats or about Trump or about any other cause.
Accomplish NOTHING! You are not doing anything good, you are to lazy to do anything real.
They cause anxiety, they infuriate and polarize one another, they addict eyeballs to iPhones and Facebooks and enrich the very people you rant about.
DONT BE LAZY AND GET A LIFE!
Last week (January 2021) I posted on Facebook about Trump and the government. There were over 100 comments, most of them conflict. A Christian friend asked me to delete it because of the meanness, so I did. There was one particular person who was mean and insulting to people she did not even know.
I have respect for people who are not afraid to calmly get into conflict especially face to face and who stay respectful. I also have more respect for those willing to do conflict than those who never-ever do conflict except for secret gossip and back biting. And I especially respect those who can admit when they are wrong during conflict and continue to pursue truth.
Patrick Lencioni an executive coach teaches about conflict and how important healthy conflict is to any organization.
Patrick Lencioni has great insight on conflict. Click here to hear him teach on conflict —> https://youtu.be/9VZERZyY198
This week I felt like perhaps I’ve been divisive on social media. I asked 5 people who know me well their opinions about this. The consensus was not intentionally but some people do perceive me to be divisive.
I have to interpret that as “yes you are divisive on social media”, because almost no one knows motives on social media. if the net result is divisiveness then the answer is yes.
I can say that within the past two years people have crossed a line into cruel divisiveness on my posts. Which one could argue I am somewhat responsible for.
I’m not sure how to fix this, other than just not posting on serious or controversial things and only share them here on my blog.
I think there are extremes around conflict with Jesus himself being our gold standard example.
1) Conflict as a Weapon (accusers, divisive, cruel): This extreme is the divisive person, using emotion, biting and devouring of people to create and perpetuate conflict and division where there was not division before. (Politicians can be great at this)
2) Never Do Conflict (artificial harmony): Another extreme is to refuse to engage in any conflict, fearing all conflict as bad. I know many people like this, they openly proclaim they are like this. Negative things are talked about but only come out as gossip to a tight circle. Relationships are kept shallow, surface level and cannot deepen because of a fear and avoidance of any conflict. Also things stay shallow because trust levels stay low due to gossip.
Most churches I’ve experienced stay in this artificial harmony zone and over time it feels fake to those being honest. Leaders fear conflict getting out of hand because they are not trained in dealing with it, and really don’t care to be. And often leaders are more interested in control than in pursuit of truth. So unfortunately they squash dissent, or disagreement, or open discussion and thereby needlessly drive away many people.
3) Healthy Conflict (Jesus Christ): willing to engage in conflict confidentially. Conflict is always done in context of the pursuit of truth. Never gets cruel or bullies weaker people. Is patient and kind, willing to forgive, confess, or apologize if necessary. Is not fearful of those who come at him, also willing to go toe to toe with false accusers. Doesn’t hold grudges and punish conflict or drive people away when it happens.
I strive for the third example myself, but I have to admit I’ve dabbled in both 1 and 2 unfortunately. The older I get the more comfortable I am with conflict and appreciate its power in building relationships, establishing trust and coming to truth within groups. Conflict is a skill we can obtain.
“Nothing can be more cruel than tenderness that consigns a brother to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother from the path of sin.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Low expectations are also cruel. Things like assuming and expecting a person to remain forever immature, because of their gender or their history of selfishness, is wrong.
Excusing away and celebrating certain sins because we don’t want to be accused of something?
Discarding people because we want to only surround ourselves with good people. With people who think like us because a self help guru said so …is cruel, godless, and snobbery,, reject it. It is hostile to Jesus Christ.
Dear Christian, you must not be controlled by fear of accusation. Remember that Satan is the accuser, it is normal to get accused. Get used to it if you are going to follow Christ.
“Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.”
Romans 12:16
The NASB and ESV translate this is to hang with or associate with the lowly.
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