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How to Do Conflict Like Jesus

Last week (January 2021) I posted on Facebook about Trump and the government. There were over 100 comments, most of them conflict. A Christian friend asked me to delete it because of the meanness, so I did. There was one particular person who was mean and insulting to people she did not even know.

I have respect for people who are not afraid to calmly get into conflict especially face to face and who stay respectful. I also have more respect for those willing to do conflict than those who never-ever do conflict except for secret gossip and back biting. And I especially respect those who can admit when they are wrong during conflict and continue to pursue truth.

Patrick Lencioni an executive coach teaches about conflict and how important healthy conflict is to any organization.

Patrick Lencioni has great insight on conflict. Click here to hear him teach on conflict —> https://youtu.be/9VZERZyY198

This week I felt like perhaps I’ve been divisive on social media. I asked 5 people who know me well their opinions about this. The consensus was not intentionally but some people do perceive me to be divisive.

I have to interpret that as “yes you are divisive on social media”, because almost no one knows motives on social media. if the net result is divisiveness then the answer is yes.

I can say that within the past two years people have crossed a line into cruel divisiveness on my posts. Which one could argue I am somewhat responsible for.

I’m not sure how to fix this, other than just not posting on serious or controversial things and only share them here on my blog.

I think there are extremes around conflict with Jesus himself being our gold standard example.

Extremes of Conflict

1) Conflict as a Weapon (accusers, divisive, cruel): This extreme is the divisive person, using emotion, biting and devouring of people to create and perpetuate conflict and division where there was not division before. (Politicians can be great at this)

2) Never Do Conflict (artificial harmony): Another extreme is to refuse to engage in any conflict, fearing all conflict as bad. I know many people like this, they openly proclaim they are like this. Negative things are talked about but only come out as gossip to a tight circle. Relationships are kept shallow, surface level and cannot deepen because of a fear and avoidance of any conflict. Also things stay shallow because trust levels stay low due to gossip.

Most churches I’ve experienced stay in this artificial harmony zone and over time it feels fake to those being honest. Leaders fear conflict getting out of hand because they are not trained in dealing with it, and really don’t care to be. And often leaders are more interested in control than in pursuit of truth. So unfortunately they squash dissent, or disagreement, or open discussion and thereby needlessly drive away many people.

3) Healthy Conflict (Jesus Christ): willing to engage in conflict confidentially. Conflict is always done in context of the pursuit of truth. Never gets cruel or bullies weaker people. Is patient and kind, willing to forgive, confess, or apologize if necessary. Is not fearful of those who come at him, also willing to go toe to toe with false accusers. Doesn’t hold grudges and punish conflict or drive people away when it happens.

I strive for the third example myself, but I have to admit I’ve dabbled in both 1 and 2 unfortunately. The older I get the more comfortable I am with conflict and appreciate its power in building relationships, establishing trust and coming to truth within groups. Conflict is a skill we can obtain.

What do you think about conflict?

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Communsim Found in The Ecclesia …NOT the State

This article is for my leftist friends who want socialism and/or communism.

I’ve recently read the Communist Manifesto (2021) by Karl Marx. And I must say it is better than I had expected.

The problem with the communist and socialist nations and governments to date is not with the ideas of communism. The problem is with Marxism and its reliance on a STATE to implement. This is the fatal flaw of all present and past socialist movements within nations.

In a sentence, human government is tainting and destroying all efforts at communism and socialism. Human government is horrific, it destroys whatever it touches. The real and underlying reason for this is a spiritual one. Human government is linked to satanic principalities and powers. Is it not ironic that every communist nation has had a strong, oppressive, governement tryrant at its head?

We’ve only ever had real communism in Christian communities. The ones with no human government. A real Christian community that is led of the spirit has a government that is of the government of the spirit of Jesus Christ. He governs through all present. He is the system, he personally is the hierarchy, he is the judge, and he is the wisdom through every member.

Marx’s vision of the state was a collective organization of benevolent proletariat, sort of like a labor union. That was the battle of his day, abusive business owners getting rich off the laborers.

Reality resulted quickly in a powerful and oppressive hierarchy calling itself socialism or communism…with a murderous military man at it’s head.

Now with communism’s horrific reputation and the oppressive nature of leftist government thugs, Nations who go socialist quickly collapse into chaos, depression and corruption because there is such rejection to it. It is sad and unfair. The reputation of socialism and communism is the terrible reputation of human government. Godless, incompetent, corrupt and disqualified human government.

But the real reputation of communism should be attached to the ecclesia, the early church and other examples of church communities, not a brutal heirarchical human government. Marx himself looked to the Christian amish communities in America as examples that it could work. Overlooking and dismissing the role of Christian love.

Marx should not have written his book, his ideas about the STATE were like his undeveloped religion, plagiarized from Christianity. He had un reasonable and irrational beliefs about the state and misunderstandings about Jesus Christ and his followers.

Jesus Christ makes real communism work within his ecclesia, the Christian community, as designed by the Lord Jesus. And no human government is involved. No taxes are needed, only the love and the generosity of Jesus followers. It is not controlled or engineered or forced or imposed involuntarily.

We walk into it freely, voluntarily, as we seek Jesus Christ. It occurs effortlessly and without travail, without martial law, without dictators. Without vote cheating and without reliance on cruelty.

It is the most beautiful thing on earth, it is what we all are looking for.

I am writing a book about human government called The Gospel of the State, the manuscript is almost complete.

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Loneliness and Access to Others

Lately I’ve been feeling a loneliness and longing for other people.

Maybe it’s because I took a job out of state. I have a new job in a good company. For 1/2 my week I come home to a big empty apartment in a new city where I know almost no one. It’s so different from what I’ve been experiencing the past ~20 years, with my wife and several children. It has made me do a lot of thinking about friendship and romance and the community of Jesus Christ.

Or maybe it’s something else entirely, because I’ve felt this way before. I’ve felt this way more than once.

I think we underestimate the tremendous disconnect that has happened between people as we try to live without Jesus Christ to varying degrees. As we live without following Christ to varying degrees there is a disconnect and a consequence. Jesus is the only mediator between us and God so as we snub him and disregard him for whatever reason we isolate ourselves from God.

Jesus Christ is also the mediator between man and man. He who holds all things together, and so does he not hold together all real loving relationships? We usually do not fully understand this and therefore we attempt often substitute in other relationships. When we do this we prevent and preempt Jesus from giving us access to others in the way that we crave.

Sometimes we assume we want sex, sometimes it’s self-serving social experiences, that supposedly fulfill (yet they are fleeting). Other times we seek King-like figures for our lives, who we hope will mediate everything good for us. Figures like clergy or presidential politicians.

We pour hopes into relationships or experiences that are unable to mediate what only Christ can mediate to and for us.

Jesus is the only real access we have to God and to one another. We can access one another in other ways, but those ways disappoint. At best, we offer and receive a humanistic self-centered form of love. Or at best it’s a pleasurable physical relationship yet lacks real love and insight into life.

But if we (Jesus followers) can learn to allow Jesus Christ to insert himself between us and others. And he will if we will allow him. Then we find the true satisfaction from and among others in our lives.

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