What if God told you that your ministry was primarily to people 100 years from now and not to your current generation.
Think of the numbers of people Paul impacted because he wrote vs. the people he impacted face to face. It’s a ratio of like billions to one.
Christians who feel “called to full time ministry” almost always assume they need to be in charge of a church as speakers because that’s what people want (for now), but maybe the Lord wants to help billions of people through you in a hundred years.
But by silly tradition we demand to preach to maybe 300, 1000 if you’re good, mostly indifferent and idle Christians today who themselves sit in pews only by tradition, because you want to be in “full time ministry”. And collect a salary from pew sitters.
Let your light shine to your generation yes, but then record it somehow or write it down for future ones.