Four Critical Responsibilities of Dad

Collier (22)

When I look at my kids I wonder how they look at me, I remember as a young child looking at my parents as almost surreal ideals.

I wonder am I setting a good example, should I show open humility or quiet strength.  Should we err on the side of strictness or on the side of leniency.   Is church attendance more critical or is family talks?

Should I focus on being better as a parent or just a better version of me? Do I care too much or too little.

Parenting is exciting and a little scary at the same time.

What I do know I have learned by example, from family, from pastors and from other good parents.

I certainly don’t know everything, I know several men who seem to parent better than I but I have learned a few things about being a dad for 11 years and having 5 kids. I believe that every dad has four critical responsibilities in leading their family.

  1. Be there for them every step of the way – your kids and wife need you throughout their lives, every step, every stage and every struggle. Nothing can substitute for your time, your family needs your time.
  2. Make sure the kids know that they can come talk to dad about anything! Speak up, be involved, let your love and your presence be felt and known.
  3. Treat mom great, no matter what, even if you feel she doesn’t deserve it, kids don’t understand the fights and the squabbles of marriage, if there is fighting all they remember is the negative so be the man, die to your self.  Die to the right of being right, die to your right to being respected and treat her wonderfully, consider it a ministry to her and the kids, it’s not a weakness to die to self so lay down your life for your wife.  This one can be very, very difficult, study more about this in the book of Ephesians and watch other men who have mastered this.
  4. Give the family a vision and goals, give them short-term goals to strive for, try to get mom on board with these, kids like this. Even if its something as simple as saving up for a family vacation.

Families need dads, dads can learn how to take their role seriously and do better.

What other things can dads do to lead their family well?

Lead Your Family by Knowing It’s Season

Family life can be chaotic, it can be stressful, it can be expensive and it can be wonderful.  A family needs vision and leadership just like any team or group of people. One way to do this is to recognize the seasonal nature of family life.

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Families go through seasons, seasons of change, seasons of development, seasons of victory and seasons of difficulty.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,  a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.    (Ecclessiastes 3:1-8 – NASB)        

Leaders of families can embrace these times  by training and emphasizing life-lessons in seasons.  As the head of household ask yourself ‘what is the most important thing for our family in the next six months?’ what struggle is nagging the family? what weakness can we work on together?

Once your most important thing is identified, the next step for the head of household (ideally a dad and mom) is to communicate this most important thing, communicate often and with regularity until the season changes.

For example, my family (with young children) is learning how to control our anger. We are learning to be slow to anger and not quick to anger. We learn about anger, we learn about patience, we learn about the effect of anger on others and we learn how to help one another to be slow to anger.

What season might your family be in now? leave a comment below!

What He Was Looking For – Part 2

When God Hovered

Genesis 1:2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters  And God said…

When God hovered over the waters in Genesis 1:2, what was He looking for? He seems to have been looking for something, many theologians believe he was looking for something. And there seems to be a repeating pattern found from Genesis to Revelation seem to agree. He was looking for a place to dwell, a home, and a universe to expand himself into. He was looking in the universe what he 

The expansion of his family was the goal of God before he said “…let there be light”, and God is timeless so we can conclude that this is the goal of God even now.  Said in a different way… ‘God’s motive for creating everything and everyone that we see is to extend the mutual fellowship that the Father, the Son and the Spirit enjoyed.’

Based on scripture this is the goal of God, this is the “meaning of life”, if we can accept it.

And as a follow on and evolution of that movement of God, the church, which is made up of living stones. Is now that dwelling place that God is after (1 Peter 2:5). Not religious buildings, not temples, not synagogues, not mosques but living people. Sharing their lives together in the presence of God, Jesus said wherever two or more gather in my name, there am I in the midst, he dwells when his people gather together in the name of Christ. This doesn’t mean those who simply say “in the name of Christ” after prayers, this means Christ is supreme in our motives, a sharing of life together, a bringing to one another what Christ gives us (1 Cor 14:26). Just like a family does.

This was the reason God sent Jesus Christ to redeem mankind from the hell we chose. This is God’s vision for His people, and we see in Acts that salvations result naturally when Christ is supreme in a body of people, when mutual fellowship occurs and when our motives are in alignment with God, his ‘living temples’ grow all over the earth naturally.

Family-Life

A family shares their lives together, a family sticks close to one another, a family faces trials and blessings together. There is no substitute for family-life.

Ever-expansion of family is God’s goal. I’m not necessarily saying the ever- expansion of genetic families, not necessarily expansion through biological reproduction, But, the ever-expansion of God’s presence on earth and I believe eventually throughout the universe.

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Healthy families share their lives together, everyone contributes, everyone has a role, everyone has their place, it is not simply a following of dad, its a mutual respect and love, expanding growing and multiplying.

Jesus said in Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”

God dwells in our mutual fellowship when we gather in his name, not when we gather in the name of a church. Not when we gather it the name of a great denomination, not when we gather in the name of a great preacher or a great leader, but when we gather together in his name.  Meaning Jesus Christ at the center-supreme in everyone’s mind and motive. Not when we gather for noble efforts like giving to the poor, not even when we gather together to teach and learn bible wisdom or to win souls but when we gather in the name of Jesus Christ and make him our object, our reason and our purpose.  All those other things are distracting (although sometimes good) side-issues that will happen naturally.

Gods purpose, his reason for creating fascinates me, I think we should align ourselves with His intention and purpose, in every area of our lives.

check out part 1 of this post here

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